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tirsdag den 15. januar 2019

20 reasons why we have to love men

We we're going shopping today in the DYI building store and on the way there, i started thinking...

It's a bit fun, with men. They're huge, their arms are the big, large, safe harbor, we dive into, when we need to be protected.

So as a woman, it's so wonderful to be able to help them too.

And they do need our help once in a while.

They have absolutely no idea of what to do with an empty milk carton. So it's so nice to be the one and only in the family, who knows, how to fold it and dump it in the garbage can.

As a woman, you know, that feeling pain is much worse for men. They feel pain much worse, than women. So it's wonderful to help them with cold wash cloths and band aid, when they hurt the most.

They are so practical around the house. Ask anyone of them, they know exactly what to do. There's absolutely no reason - I repeat - NO reason to come up with any suggestions.  The tools of a handyman get so incredibly hot, that it's necessary to drop everything exactly where they finish. That's why it is so nice to feel helpful with moving the tools, when the work is done.

Men loves to drive, especially when spring - and spring cleaning - is in the calendar. But they do not understand the concept of "putting things back in the right space." So we smile, when we take your "stuff" from the kitchen table and sort screws, nails, a piece of thread, coins, keys, old receipts and breadcrumbs, and sort everything before putting it in place. Then we know, that you can find your keys for your lovely spring drive, when you need them.

Don't worry about looking at young, beautiful women. The reason we send you a big smile is not because we approve. It's to be able to camouflage the huge laughter, we are having on the inside. And we smile to you to let you believe, that you are still able to land a girl like that.

When all the shit seems to land on your table, just smile and be proud, that you are the only one who is able, to figure out, what to do with it. So they put it just next to the dishwasher, cause in their experience, the problem then just miraculously disappears.

Don't feel bad about the previous solution, this means power to the woman. If there's something you simply hate in the house, you just wait until it appears next to the zink. Then you just have to swing the magic wand, and it miraculously make it disappears.

We have all tried to have the flu, I'm sure. But you know, there's an A-flu and a B-flu, and then there's the much less spoken of: the man-flu. And there's absolutely nothing that compares to that.
To make sure, your man gets better, it requires intensive care each 20 minutes to half an hour. If the intensive care does not work even after you put on the candy striped uniform, try blended vegetable soup. That's almost as good as using the magic wand, and your husband will be free of his extreme discomfort in no time.

Men are exceptional at catching and removing all life threatening dangers as, for instance, spiders. That's also why we don't care, when we have to pick up all kinds of garbage from the tables, bookcases, drawers etc

As "the hunter" of the family, we love our men to assist us with getting the food, we need, to make dinner. They remove lids from glasses in a second, and BAM, now they have put food on the table. Lookhowproud they are, when they do that. So when we thank God for our food, remember also to give thanks to our masculine husbands - the hunters.

After dinner, you have to be helpful again. Cause men do not understand, how a dishwasher works. They think, that if they just put the plates etc next to the zink, then BAM it appears in the kitchen cabinets again. It's a wonderful machine!

When they get dinner, they need to go to the toilet. The male body works in an amazing way. When they reach the last page of Donald Duck, they're done. Wow, that's timing!

I'm also thankful my hubby is such a good driver. It's amazing, the number of accidents isn't higher, with all the other idiots, we meet on the road.

While driving, he is also born with a compass inside his body. GPS is just for chicks, who can't drive. And when doing so, he always takes some shortcuts, I have never heard of, just to let me have a chance to see the wonderful scenery.
Isn't he thoughtful?

Being such a great driver is quite an accomplishment for my hubby, since he has troubles with his vision. His eyesight can't be like mine, he is never able to see dust or dirt anywhere, and is always surprised, that we have to clean. But in traffic, his eyesight is like an eagle.

It's the same with laundry actually. He is not able to see a pile of dirty clothes in a corner. Or maybe he thinks, I'm redecorating and changing style to "lazy teenager"(?)

I like order in my refrigerator, hubby have no idea of what that means. I don't leave the door open for long to save energy, so I need order to find food fast.
In such confined space, it's possible to maintain order isn't it? NO
In a lovely contempt he tried to make order himself, and there was space available. He is very good at that. So again it was kind of a succes, even though everything was stacked up in one side. I couldn't find the system in his - hmm - system, but it's just me who is too stupid.

I'm so lucky, my hubby cooks. He makes 2 different dishes, and I love them.
I don't know exactly how he does it though. I haven't read the recipe, but it must be heavy cooking methods, maybe nuclear, cause during cooking, the kitchen has been bombed. But We Love the love in the act itself, even though it takes 3 hours to get mashed potatoes off the ceiling.

Allways, allways serve cake and desserts on a plate fitting portion size. Because here he need a little help again, otherwise he will mistake the whole cake as being his own. So don't confuse him, give him a plate with a portion instead. He will not be able to resist the temptation to eat it all alone, if given the chance.

Finally, as a side effect of hubby loving my cooking and cakes, he now has a speedbump on his belly. This is not to be mistaken as fat, no no. This is their rolling muscle! So help him, by regulating the portions and be happy, that he loves your cooking.

We love our big and strong, cuddly bears <3